I have been a nonagenarian for three months, an experience I never expected but one for which I am grateful. When I was young I assumed that my life span would be the traditional “three score and ten”. When my father and two of his brothers each passed away around their seventieth birthdays, this assumption was reinforced. Somehow I have dodged that bullet and am currently enjoying exploring my tenth decade.
These days, when people inquire “How are you?”, the inquiry is closer to being a question regarding my current life expectancy rather than a polite inquiry into my overall state of mind. Incidentally, according to actuarial tables the life expectancy of a male reaching the exalted age of ninety is a little bit over four years. Is that long enough to allow the Pirates to put together a winning team?
Despite some problems between Christmas and New Year’s Day last winter, my present state of health is fine. Like everyone else, I am besieged by life-threatening foes from every angle. In addition to a flu shot and three vaccinations against Covid-19, I have a shoebox filled with pills to defend me against high blood pressure, cholesterol, allergies, enlarged prostate, bladder infection, and “thick” blood, plus elderly gentlemen’s multi-vitamins and two different pro-biotics. I am considering taking a post-graduate course in pharmacy to keep them straight.
Nonetheless they seem to be keeping me going, though at a slower rate than I would prefer. Someone asked me why I always appear to be so busy. After pondering the question, I concluded that it was a combination of three factors. Because I spend more time sleeping, during the day as well as night, I have fewer waking hours available. Most things I do take significantly longer than they used to. And the fact that I make lots of mistakes and must redo simple tasks uses up all the remaining time available.
Some cultures acknowledge the fact that old age is accompanied by wisdom and seek out elders for their advice. If I lived in one of them, I would preach sermons on patience, moderation, tolerance, and forgiveness. Unfortunately, I don’t practice what I preach; nonetheless these are virtues we all should strive to achieve.
Ultimately patience always triumphs over impulse. The tortoise always ends up crossing the finish line ahead of the hare. Lots of us have realized for many years that our society must eventually wean itself off of fossil fuels as a principal source of energy, and that this must be done gradually accompanied by rational consideration of the consequences of such a transition. Today’s environmentalists ignore the impracticality of an abrupt switch to renewable sources.
In today’s polarized world, being a moderate equates to being lonely. Moderation too often is equated to fence-straddling. A moderate must be non-extreme rather than anti-extreme. The situation is complicated by the fact that there are valid arguments for both sides in many disagreements involving extremists. If a moderate is someone who can recognize this, then it is his/her obligation to convert enough antagonists into objective realists to accomplish accommodation.
Tolerance is difficult, but has become less difficult as I have gotten older. Perhaps this is the result of observing that things I feared years ago have not really turned out to be threats after all. I always had a problem with men with long hair and earrings, until Willie Nelson turned into one of them. Emotionally I am still repulsed by massive amounts of tattoos and body piercing, but intellectually I acknowledge there really is nothing wrong with them.
Forgiveness has traditionally been a cornerstone of religious doctrine, yet it is one more trait that I wish I consciously possessed. It is far too easy for me to carry a grudge. My strongest intellectual argument in favor of forgiveness is my knowledge of the many things I have done that I regret and my wish that the folks I hurt will eventually forgive me.
An interesting consequence of aging is the transition from being a participant in life to becoming a spectator. I have had good training in this, beginning the day I realized I would never be a competitive athlete and settled for becoming an avid sports fan. I suppose the same thing could be said for music; I continue to enjoy listening to other people perform music – classical, jazz, country and western, folk rock, etc. – despite lacking the aptitude to perform it myself.
There have been things for which I was able to participate heavily. I was a competent engineer and engineering manager when I was younger, and my pseudo-academic career as an engineering professor was successful as well as being personally rewarding to me. Retiring three years ago was a necessary decision for me, but the loss of the feeling I am doing something worthwhile still lingers on. I am trying to support the very capable gentleman who has taken over my role with the Senior Design Project Program at Pitt, without interfering with him. I find it hard to accept a passive role rather than an active one, although I know I must.
I have really enjoyed the Zoom presentations that various organizations have provided during the pandemic, although I still prefer the in-person versions. Nonetheless this medium has made it possible for me to participate in programs that would have been impractical otherwise. I think the potential for this technology is unlimited; I just wish it was easier for me to be aware of all the available programs that interest me.
Before my wife died, my classic response to “How are you?” was “Never Better!”. I haven’t been able to say that since then, but today it is perfectly appropriate for me to reply, “I’m fine.” In reality that is a massive understatement; I am in awe of the fact that I am able to enjoy each additional day of a very rewarding life.