The forty-five minutes it took me to drive “over the river and through the woods” to Elizabeth’s house for Thanksgiving dinner provided me with ample time to reflect on the things for which I am grateful at this stage of my life. I am using the term grateful, rather than thankful, because I think it implies something more comprehensive, implying acknowledgment of the involvement of other persons or influences.
My first thought was gratitude for the handful of trees that still retained their leaves, in stark contrast to the rest of the barren wintry scene, as a reminder of the spectacular autumn we have just experienced. I don’t know if it was the case elsewhere, but in the small portion of southwestern Pennsylvania I frequent, I can’t recall a previous year when the leaves were as brilliant for as long a period.
I also was grateful for the ease with which I can negotiate the network of highways that make up the sixteen miles between my home and hers. Selfishly perhaps, I ascribe this to infrastructure, therefore to Civil Engineers, and ultimately to the large number of my ex-students who are engaged in constructing and maintaining it. Perhaps that is a good of example of the distinction between gratitude and thankfulness – gratitude being directed to someone or something. Of course, the finest possible infrastructure would be of no use to me if I didn’t still possess the ability to drive independently. That is certainly a blessing for which I am grateful. For a nonagenarian, being able to drive is a major part of independence, one that I cherish.
It goes without saying that I am grateful for my family. Regular communication with my children, and occasional contact with their spouses and children, is a very important part of my life. I am grateful Elizabeth has chosen to live close to me and unselfishly taken on the burden of helping me fight to retain my independence. Also contributing to that fight are the outsiders who provide me with support – the cleaning ladies who show up twice a month and force me to retain some degree of order in my mess; the lawn service that mows my lawn weekly, whether it needs it or not, and collects my leaves; and handyman Tim who, in a couple of weeks, took care of a dozen problems I no longer could cope with.
Despite its numerous negative side effects, I am grateful to have lived long enough to take advantage of the Information Age and the Internet. Although Sara and John are thousands of miles away from me, my contact with them is nearly daily. If we were back in the “good old days” when long distance telephone service cost twelve dollars for three minutes, this would be impossible. Add to that the convenience of FaceTime and Zoom, and it is obvious that our communication capability is indeed a subject for our gratitude. I also am grateful for many other Internet capabilities – accessing reference material via Google and Wikipedia; remote radio; music, audio and visual (YouTube); email; news (I read the Post Gazette every morning on my laptop); etc. Last week I watched a live performance of the Haverford/Bryn Mawr College Orchestra with Rachael playing third chair violin, via the Internet. And it has been archived on YouTube!
My life is enriched by individual friends and by regular involvement with a number of groups – the Bridgeville High School Brunch Club; the Bridgeville Area Historical Society; our Book Club, completing its twenty-fourth year; the Pitt Civil Engineering Senior Design program; and our tiny (three person) Dravo Alumni Association. It would be difficult to identify any of them as being more important to me than the others – I am grateful for all of them and for each of the folks in them.
I am grateful for regular routine that facilitates my getting through the week with a minimum of pre-planning or original thought – grocery shopping on Monday, watering the house plants on Tuesday, brunch with the BHS gang every other Wednesday, doing the laundry on Thursday, lunch with Larry Kennedy on Friday, producing the first draft of my column Saturday evening, etc. The latter routine is enhanced, as I write this, by a fire in the fireplace, one more thing for which I am grateful. I am listening to Phil Atteberry and “Saturday Night Swing Session” on WQLN Erie, thanks to the Internet. To my surprise he began the show with Bing Crosby singing “I’ve Got Plenty to be Thankful For”. I remember reporting the same event in last year’s Thanksgiving column. Phil then announced that this was a Thanksgiving tradition for him. In contrast, I also am grateful for surprises and one-of-a-kind events that are not part of my routine.
Although I miss both of them every day, I am grateful for having had the opportunity for long friendships with Don Toney and Peggy Alex, both of whom left us this year. I had known Don since grade school, but became close friends with him in later years through the BHS Brunch Club. The Alexes have been our next-door neighbors for well over three decades; Peg and I became buddies walking our dogs in the Bird Park woods. As my list of close friends continues to shrink I realize how important it is for me to be grateful for the ones who remain.
Well, the fire has burned down, Phil Atteberry has signed off, and I have accumulated twelve hundred random words which I will wordsmith into an acceptable column by Thursday. As I skim over my mailing list, I realize how grateful I am to each of you on it, for the privilege of visiting with you each week. The pessimist’s glass is half-empty; the optimist’s half-full. As I look over my shoulder and see “Time’s winged chariot” approaching, I realize that my half-full “cup runneth over”.